Butterfly Ramblings

Bwa ha ha

2007-03-09T13:59:00.000-05:00

What Kind of Knitter Are You?

You appear to be a Knitting Guru. You love knitting and do it all the time. While finishing a piece is the plan, you still love the process, and can't imagine a day going by without giving some time to your yarn. Packing for vacation involves leaving ample space for the stash and supplies. It can be hard to tell where the yarn ends and you begin.http://marniemaclean.com
Take this quiz!

Yarn and whining

2007-03-08T15:48:00.000-05:00

I picked up the sticks again today. The scarf that I knit for my mom as a Christmas present turned out all wrong, so I frogged the whole thing and re-did it with a looser tension and less stitches per row. Can't show a picture right now because I'm not near the camera, but take my word for it, it's a decided improvement.

I considered going to Hobby Lobby for some yarn, but I doubt I'd have enough time to get there, find something good and get back in time for class in half an hour. Of course, I could just skip this class... it's completely stupid and pointless... but I want an A, so my ass has to show up every week and turn in the bullshit assignments. The problem is that this class is an exact duplicate of a class I had to take my sophomore year. I'm talking same book, same syllabus, same assignments, same activities. The only difference is the teacher- and I'm not sure if it's better or worse than the first time around. Oh, and the course number. One is X220, the other is X420. Both are required. Both are about career planning and placement. Gag me already. I'm so fucking tired of writing resumes and reflection papers and cover letters and self-assessment bullshit. And of course I wasn't smart enough to have saved all of it from the first class, so I'm duplicating work that bored me the first time. This whole academic process has some serious flaws from the student standpoint. Of course, I'm sure that the university loves it- make us pay twice to do the same lame stuff. Yup. And all the yarn I have with me is a partial ball of navy blue acrylic. This is going to be a long-ass night.

Blah blah

2007-03-05T09:54:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I've been slacking lately on the knitting/crocheting/blogging fronts. School has takenmost of my wits, and I have entered a creative drought. I have knit a few scarves and one buddy square, but not much else.

I did a scarf for a friend's son about a month ago, and apparently he adores it so much that he wears it at home just to be wearing it. Yay!

I have a couple of projects that I need to be working on, but none of them are catching my attention. Sigh.

But, for what may be the first time in my college career, midterm is approaching and I'm not behind in any of my classes.

Finished Project

2007-01-01T21:33:00.000-05:00

It's finished! I finished my first stranded knitalong project. Oshu's skull hat. Unfortunately, I didn't leave enough length with the strands, so I ended up having to cut and knot them. Argh. But, nonetheless, I did it.

Yawn. I think I just bored myself to sleep...

2006-12-23T01:48:00.000-05:00

Update on Christmas. Nothing much else to report right now, other than the fact that I've picked my Stranded Knitalong pattern. A skull and crossbones hat for Oshu.

First we have the sock and a smidge of a mate for George for Christmas. It's orange and green. I think I'm having a case of second sock syndrome. Finished, finally! Pictures when he isn't sitting here.
Then there's the hat for Pickle, the niece.
Then theres the Bernat Boa scarf in Cardinal for my Mom.
I also need to make a hat for my brother (Pickle's dad).
And a hat for the strange guy who is living with my dad right now.
And a scarf or something for my brother's girlfriend.
And I need to sew up a quilt for Monkey (a nephew).
And make Monkey a set of felt mittens with an attached cord.
And make Critter (the other nephew) a set of mittens as well.
Oh, and I suppose if I'm making mittens for the nephews I should make a pair for the niece as well.
And if I find time, I have three pairs of socks and a penis warmer (don't ask. really.) to finish.
Oh, and the afghan I've been crocheting for Oshu for a year now. He's been asking when it will be done.
Addition: Sew Christmas stockings for the babies (all three of them). Also did some for my kids while I was at it.

I also realized that I can't take pictures of everything all at once because I'd already wrapped most of it. Oops. Now, as soon as George finishes his snack I'm going to drag out the sewing machine and finish the last of this stuff. Actually, no I'm not. I think I have to go buy something to put in the middle of the quilt. Crap. Wonder if I can just use a few layers of sheeting or something- he tends to cover his face with his blankets, so the thinner the better anyway. Now that I think of it, I'll just go buy a sheet. I think I tossed all of my old sheets last summer, so I can't raid the closet. Sigh. Off to the 'Mart.

Knitting beats blogging

2006-12-19T22:35:00.000-05:00

Knitting beats blogging, and it also beats school. Finals are over and grades are posted. Yay.

I'm down to the girlfriend scarf and George's sock, but both have seen significant progress. All of the hats are done. I still have the sewing to do, but I'm planning on doing that tomorrow.

Ethel got a knitting kit for Christmas from one of her aunts. She's making much better progress this time, since I showed her how to throw the yarn English style so she has less to hold on to. Her scarf is about 6 or 7 inches long already. She is having a blast with it.

When I finish the last two pieces of my Christmas knitting, I'll try to remember to lay it all out in a pile and take a picture of it. Then maybe next year I'll think twice before I decide to do this much for other people. Actually, it all just depends on how much everything gets used. People who use the things I make them are more likely to get more handknit pieces by me. Other people are just going to get rocks.

Christmas update

2006-12-13T11:10:00.000-05:00

Okay. The Christmas list has shrunk. Although, now that I think about it, it hasn't shrunk as much as I would like. Italicized items are finished. Pictures below.

First we have the sock and a smidge of a mate for George for Christmas. It's orange and green. I think I'm having a case of second sock syndrome.
Then there's the hat for Pickle, the niece.
Then theres the Bernat Boa scarf in Cardinal for my Mom.
I also need to make a hat for my brother (Pickle's dad).
And a hat for the strange guy who is living with my dad right now.
And a scarf or something for my brother's girlfriend.
And I need to sew up a quilt for Monkey (a nephew).
And make Monkey a set of felt mittens with an attached cord.
And make Critter (the other nephew) a set of mittens as well.
Oh, and I suppose if I'm making mittens for the nephews I should make a pair for the niece as well.
And if I find time, I have three pairs of socks and a penis warmer (don't ask. really.) to finish.
Oh, and the afghan I've been crocheting for Oshu for a year now. He's been asking when it will be done.
Addition: Sew Christmas stockings for the babies (all three of them).

The sock for George. Plus the second sock.

The scarf for Mom. Also the potholders for Dad, and the hat for Pickle.

The hat for my brother, which I have completed since taking the picture this morning.

Introducing my newest insanity...

2006-12-06T17:32:00.000-05:00

I joined the Stranded Colorwork Challenge knitalong. This should be fun. :)

Not sure just yet what I'm going to knit, but I can tell you that it will probably be ridiculously elaborate, because I just can't seem to do simple. Call it a character flaw. I also have to make myself finish the Christmas list first... unless... what if I did some as part of my brother's hat? Hmmm... wonder what sort of design I could put on it that he would actually wear? Wait- do I care if he wears it? Uh... no, not really. Okay, then, that might just be the ticket. Probably just a single emblem on the front of the hat- wonder if I can find a skull- oh, wait, I know where to look, Knitty had skull wristbands if I remember correctly.

*Happy dance* I get to knit something that will annoy my mother.

Why is it that despite being almost thirty years old I still get a disturbing thrill out of annoying my mom? Was it because I was such a well-behaved child who never got in trouble back then that I feel it utterly necessary to drive her insane now? I wonder.

I think I've just discovered another problem with Blogger. I can't add subject tags to my posts. Does anyone know if there's an option to do that? Oh, who cares... I'm hoping to get my own site after Christmas anyway, and then I can do whatever I want with it. Bwa ha ha!

Procrastination Game

2006-12-06T09:38:00.000-05:00

Since I have finals next week, and lots of homework to do between now and then, I figured I'd... oh, say... write a nice long post about my current knitting projects.

First we have the sock and a smidge of a mate for George for Christmas. It's orange and green. I think I"m having a case of second sock syndrome.
Then there's the hat for Pickle, the niece. So far I have one segment out of seven. A really pretty white with twists of varigated pastels- but this will do no good if it isn't done by Christmas.
Then theres the Bernat Boa scarf in Cardinal- which I have to frog and redo. I originally started it with the boa held with a strand of black SugarNCream, but it's too thick and not floaty enough. (It looked so much cuter when Lishy did it with her pink hat and scarf set. Where did I go wrong?)
I also need to make a hat for my brother (Pickle's dad).
And a hat for the strange guy who is living with my dad right now.
And a scarf or something for my brother's girlfriend.
And I need to sew up a quilt for Monkey (a nephew).
And make Monkey a set of felt mittens with an attached cord.
And make Critter (the other nephew) a set of mittens as well.
Oh, and I suppose if I'm making mittens for the nephews I should make a pair for the niece as well.
And if I find time, I have three pairs of socks and a penis warmer (don't ask. really.) to finish.
Oh, and the afghan I've been crocheting for Oshu for a year now. He's been asking when it will be done.

And that isn't any of the other projects, just the Christmas ones. I think I should go knit now.

Oops

2006-11-19T21:36:00.000-05:00

I think we scared her. My friend Lishy and I invited Amy G over to knit and hang out with us. I'm thinking that we may have traumatized her a little. Sometimes we get a little... loopy. Okay, I'll be honest. I get downright stoopid sometimes, especially when I get to escape without the kids. I hope we didn't scare her too bad, cause hanging out with her was a lot of fun. (Did we scare you, Amy?) Honestly, I would scare myself if I didn't know me better. Sometimes I scare myself anyway.

Anyway... time will tell. For now, though, I'm going to take my knitting (I'm working on George's orange Christmas socks) and go pass out in bed. I woke up this morning with a congested chest, a cough that hurts, and a scratchy throat. I sure hope I didn't contaminate anyone else, cause this freakin sucks.

Dum da da dum

2006-11-14T12:26:00.000-05:00

Drumroll, please... I'm actually posting for once.
I've been making scarves out the wazoo- no pictures though- too much work. Sunday I decided that I absolutely could not handle eyelash yarn for one more minute, so I started a baby afghan. A small one- as in when I run out of yarn I'm stopping since it's from stash and I can't easily buy more. It's for Lishy's friend at work whose wife is expecting a girl in the next few weeks sometime. I started it with a square- ten stitches wide and twenty rows high, and then picked up the stitches along a second side and did the whole mitered thing. On every odd row I add two stitches in the center. It's only about 7 inches square right now, but it's growing- and let me tell you, I'm so enjoying NOT dealing with the boa yarn right now. And it looks a lot more square when its not on the circs.

What I've been doing lately.

2006-10-23T00:22:00.000-04:00

Not much. My best friend wore one of my scarves to work and came home that night with that one sold and orders for six more. So... I've been knitting. A lot. Last night I knit while watching Charmed, today I've knit while watching Monk, and until I started this post I was knitting while listening to the podcasts for my online Management Information Systems class. (Yawn.)

Just for my own amusement, here are pictures of two of the completed scarves, plus closeups of three different colorways.

To the Frog Pond!

2006-09-21T08:56:00.000-04:00

The pink baby socks were annoying me. In my disdain for following directions, I managed to screw up the heel on the first one. I didn't like the way it came out, so I frogged the sucker. It wasn't going to fit my niece anyway- that girl has some chubby legs on her.
Instead I went back to working on the Ember sweater. My Christmas list keeps growing, and growing, and growing... at least I have a few months to work on stuff.

Finished Pink Socks

2006-09-16T23:06:00.000-04:00

The pink socks are finished- and I liked them so much that I started a second pair with a similar pattern. Smaller, though, this time. This pair is for Ethel for Christmas- the second set will be for my niece (not sure if they will fit...).

Here's a picture, a la The Yarn Harlot, of my newest sock at the playground with Ethel, George and an extra kid who is in George's kindergarten class and lives out here. Faces hidden to protect their anonymity and all that jazz.

Not much happening...

2006-09-11T12:58:00.000-04:00

The lacy socks are proceeding quite well. One is done, and the other is just a few rows from the beginning of the heel. Yay! I have made one discovery about lace- it's harder to pick up dropped stitches when there are a bunch of YOs in there. (I discovered this last night when I picked up the sock and all three dpns fell out. Argh.)
Still haven't sewn the buttons onto the sweater yet... procrastination is my middle name. Now- off to class. Yay, rah! (Can you feel the sarcasm?)

Almost finished object, plus the beginning of a new one

2006-09-05T15:09:00.000-04:00

It's all done but finding the perfect buttons.

And this is the newest baby knit: I think it's destined to be a sweater, but we'll see.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2006-09-05T10:53:00.000-04:00

Well, it is at Hobby Lobby, anyway. I've started thinking about Christmas presents to make, and this seems like as good a place as any to keep my list. So, time to tweak the old template. Bwa ha ha!

Oh my gosh!

2006-08-31T12:14:00.000-04:00

I was dropping off George's blanket at kindergarten (it was at the FFY, courtesy of Ethel- don't ask) and the teaching assistant noticed the knitting that was spilling out of my purse. We started chatting- and she's a knitting fiend, too! Not only that, but she has a blog, too! (Too much caffeine + not enough sleep = overuse of exclamation marks.)

Current project: Striped kimono for a baby boy due sometime in December.

Knitting during class

2006-08-29T14:01:00.000-04:00

Yup, that's what I said. I knit during my classes. It seems to help me pay more attention to what the instructor is saying. I figure whatever works is a good thing.

Olivia's dress

2006-08-25T18:34:00.000-04:00

Another finished object. One of several, actually, but I don't have pictures of them all. This dress is made from Caron Simply Soft- it was knitted from leftover stash. The only cost to me was $1.63 for the buttons. It is intended for a new baby who was born last week, and it took me about a week to knit.

These are the buttons- don't they just make the dress?

Huh.

2006-07-26T10:14:00.000-04:00

I just figured out why blogger takes so long to load whenever I make a new post. It puts the posts into the template. For criminy's sake, what a stupid way to do things. Sigh. I'm going to go do my homework now- I no longer feel even the slightest urge to revamp my blog.

Finished object from stash.

2006-07-14T21:46:00.000-04:00

Monkey's cuddle blankie is done. Finished it today while sitting at our yard sale.
Up to row 5 on the Mystery Stole. (This thing is a lot more complicated than I thought it would be- I get distracted too danged easily and lose my place in the chart.)
I think I might see if I can find a magnetic clipboard- some of the ladies in the group were talking about using a clipboard and magnetic strips to make it more obvious which row to knit. Now, off to bed- Stargate and the stole are calling me.

Who's real crazy? Yes I am!

2006-07-12T22:39:00.000-04:00

I joined the Mystery Stole Knitalong. I'm going to attempt to make this stole out of Cherry Red Red Heart Luster Sheen that I bought on clearance at Hobby Lobby for 46 cents a skein (ka-ching!) and then realized I had absolutely no idea what to do with it.

Right now I'm only a few rows into the swatch- yes, I, the knitter who has flatly refused to swatch in the past- actually swatching. Right now, though, Ethel is making me up (she'll do almost anything to keep from going to bed) so I can't really follow a chart. (Yeah, as if typing is sooo much easier.)

I also made my first gif ever- the little knitting one. Yay, me! And yay for free gif-making software (even if it does put that stupid little ad at the top).

Now, back to knitting.

Tormenting my sister...

2006-07-06T20:14:00.000-04:00

such fun. I grabbed a ball of Sugar 'n Cream and a pair of size 9's and took them with me when we went shopping today. During the course of the afternoon I knit about 5 1/2 inches of a 12 inch square 'cuddle blankie' for Monkey (her baby). It was originally intended to be a bib, because she mentioned wanting one that she could tie around his waist (he grabs the bib and pulls it up over his face while she tries to feed him), but about an inch into it she admitted that she'd never use it to feed him 'because you made it'. He likes to cover up part of his face with a blanket or burp cloth to help himself fall asleep, so I figured a little blankie would be perfect.

She made fun of me and my knitting habit a little bit, but when I offered to knit a pair of socks and a hat for her boyfriend's cousin's baby shower (if she paid for the yarn- since I don't have anything in stash that would be appropriate for a boy) she changed her tune pretty quickly. Monkey was tired, so we decided we'd wait until tomorrow to go get the yarn. I figure I'll have the cuddle blankie done by then.

Oh, and I referred to myself as a knitting junkie and a yarn whore to Oshu, and after he finished laughing he said I was also a crochet slut. :) I'm so tempted to change my blog title to something vaguely pornographic now- but I can't think of anything really good.

New project

2006-07-02T00:35:00.000-04:00

Now that the first pair of socks are done, I've started another pair. This sock was started while at my in-laws 4th of July party today. This is how far I've gotten. It goes halfway up my foot. It's made of Sinfonia #8 Sportweight 100% cotton. Anyway, I'm exhausted- just wanted to take a couple pics and post them before I take the sock to bed with me and knit until Stargate puts me to sleep. (Gotta love the Stargate!)

Finished Object: One Pair Socks.

2006-06-30T18:02:00.000-04:00

They're finished! My very first pair of adult socks. (I don't think the baby ones count, somehow. They were just too tiny to seem like real socks, I guess.)

After binding off the second sock, I had a ball that was less than an inch wide. Glad I didn't make the cuff any taller, I mighta run out of yarn.

Yay, me, I have now joined the ranks of sock knitters. (Can't wait to start another pair. Okay, honestly, I've already started another pair. But those are for my daughter, who asked very nicely if I would knit her a pair of socks.)

No more bootie.

2006-06-20T10:30:00.000-04:00

I frogged it. It just wasn't making me happy- although ripping it out sure did- that was fun! I'll give it a day or two and then start over. I might even look for a pattern this time. :P

Finished the hat!

2006-06-18T13:24:00.000-04:00

I finished the hat- which actually turned out much better than I expected. It and the socks went to the baby shower yesterday. (Yay!) I used up most of the JP Coats Serenity Ombre LusterSheen in the stash- and I'm attempting a pair of booties out of the leftovers. (No pattern, just making it up as I go... so we'll see.)

Baby shower gift part 2

2006-06-08T11:19:00.000-04:00

Hm... I decided to knit a little hat to match the socks, but I couldn't find a pattern that I liked. So, being the innovative crafter that I am (lol) I decided to use a dishcloth pattern and just adapt it to make a hat. Not sure how it will turn out, but for now its interesting. If it works I'll post a picture and pattern. If it doesn't work, well, I'll just frog the sucker and try something else.

Stashbusting project #1

2006-06-07T11:53:00.000-04:00

Got an invitation to my cousin's daughter's baby shower Monday... for a shower that is in just under two weeks. Instead of going out and buying yarn, I dug through the stash and found some crochet thread that knit up into an absolutely adorable pair of teeny tiny baby socks.

I might even use some of the remaining yarn and knit a matching hat- maybe a lacy little bonnet or something.

I've also managed to finish (all but the heel) the first of the socks for ME- made from Mandarin Petit (can't remember the colorway and it isn't on the tag- argh). I'm waiting until I finish both socks to add the heels- I don't want to run out of yarn before I finish both socks.

Temptation averted.

2006-06-04T13:08:00.000-04:00

Well, I did it. I went to Big Lots, where the kids pointed out yarn, and then Wal-Mart, where there was even more yarn. I didn't buy any.

New Purpose for an Old Blog

2006-06-02T14:25:00.000-04:00

Since most of the knitting blogs and knit-alongs are on blogger, I decided I might as well put this blog back to use. It's now officially my knitting/crocheting/craftiness blog.

To begin: I have decided to bite the bullet and join the Summer of Stash. (Gulp.) Three months without buying yarn? Can I do it? I think that I can. Once I get home tonight and get the camera up and running, I'll take pictures of my stash and my various wips.

In other news: Next Saturday, June 10th, is World Wide Knit in Public Day. This shouldn't be a stretch for me, seeing as I knit in public virtually every time I leave my house. The hard part will be visiting my LYS (where there is supposed to be an event) without buying anything.

Anyway... time to go home.

This blog has been depressing long enough.

2005-09-30T20:57:00.000-05:00

I don't have anything to be really depressed about. This blog was theraputic in its time, but it has served its purpose. I will keep it around, but only because I don't believe in deleting emotions. It negates their truth.

If you're looking for me, try my real blog: Butterfly's Flutter-Bys.

Will this ever go away?

2005-04-23T09:48:00.000-05:00

We had a long, unpleasant talk about this again last week. He says that they lied, and that I should believe him, instead of them. Uh, no. I don't for a minute believe that. It happened. I'm about as sure of it as I could be without actually being there. He tried to pull the "well if you don't believe me then we have no future together" bullshit. (See, once upon a time, when he threatened to leave, I got horribly upset and cried, and promised to fix everything... so he pulls it out occasionally when he doesn't like how things are going.) I pretty much told him that I wasn't changing my mind because he wanted me to, and if that was how he felt he should go pack. Guess he decided it wasn't such a big deal after all- he's still here. I mean, come on, I've already forgiven him for it, I don't throw it at him all the time, why does it matter that I still believe it happened?

Still here....

2004-12-11T13:04:00.000-05:00

Got a call last nite from Lindsey, who used to work with hubby. Jade (the girl hubby slept with) sent Lindsey's boyfriend Justin an email and told him that Lindsey slept with Dave (Jade's boyfriend and hubby's former best friend)- which she did while she and Justin were broke up- but Jade also said that Lindsey slept with hubby- which Lindsey and hubby both denied. (I asked Lindsey to her face right after I found out about Jade, and she's either one hell of an actress or she was telling the truth.) So I called and left Dave a voicemail asking him to please ask Jade to leave hubby and me the hell out of everything from now on.

I'm over it. I just want to move on with my life- is that so hard to understand?

Life goes on.

2004-11-26T21:45:00.000-05:00

Amazingly enough, it does.
Still have times when I want to scream and throw things, but overall life is back to normal- except that he's being a lot nicer. The friend who told me about all this emailed me the other day and said that hubby was lying and he could prove it. Course then he emailed hubby and told him the same thing, and told him that he told me to check hubby's chat logs. Well, duh, I already did that... but since he mentioned it to hubby... I can't anymore because he disabled it. Damn it. Moron. Wish he'd shut the hell up.
Oh well. We put up our Christmas tree today. I went shopping and bought a few things. My shopping is close to finished already. Now I just have to start wrapping everything. Fun fun.

...

2004-11-15T21:10:00.000-05:00

I am so depressed right now. I'm not doing so good at faking happiness. My instructor sent me home from class. He also suggested I take tomorrow off- as in not go to work or to classes. Guess I look even worse than I thought. Can't do that though. I have bills to pay and I can't afford to miss class just because I'm depressed.
I'm not eating. I'm drinking way too much pop. I'm smoking a whole lot. This is bad. I'm seriously considering cutting my hair off. (It's about 4 inches shy of hitting my waist.) I want to cut it all off. You know how there are some cultures that cut all their hair off when they mourn? That's how I feel right now. I painted my toenails black. Woulda done my fingernails too but didn't have time. I want to get another tattoo, or a piercing, or something. I guess I want to cause myself some physical pain to go with the emotional pain.
This is bad. Depression runs in my family. I have gotten pretty depressed before, but I think I've sunk to a new low. And it's not like I can tell anyone about it. My best friend knows about him cheating, a few people at work know, but thats about it.
I'm not telling his family or mine. It's none of my parents business, and it would just cause his parents unnecessary pain. Of course, having to pretend to be happy around his mom today was horrible. I love her dearly, and I don't want her to know something was wrong. She mighta got an inkling when she hugged me goodbye, since I reek of smoke.
I'd like to get drunk. Maybe that would make me feel better for a little while. I think I'll go have one shot- maybe two- and then I'll put my son in bed with me and let him watch his Thomas movie. Maybe I can get some sleep that way. Two shots won't make me drunk, but it might take the edge off.

Depression takes hold.

2004-11-15T13:08:00.000-05:00

Today I am horribly depressed. I only slept about 3 hours last night, and it wasn't very good sleep. This whole mood swing thing is getting old fast. Today I want to scream and throw things, or maybe just curl up and cry... but unfortunately I can't do that. Still can't cry.
Being cheerful at work is getting to me.

Hmmm...

2004-11-14T13:51:00.000-05:00

Well, I guess I've gone back to numb- or maybe on to not caring. I'm feeling sort of disassociated. It's still there, and it still pops into my head at random moments, but I don't feel anything. On the other hand, that includes sex. I'm just so... not interested... which is so not me. I suppose this will pass, too, eventually.
He's still being really sweet- we're going to get family pictures taken today. That sounds really stupid right now, doesn't it. I think my thoughts are that we haven't had one done since our youngest was born- he's 3- and just in case, I'd like to have a picture that has all four of us in it. The kids might like to have it when they're older.
Oh, hell, who am I kidding? It's not likely that I'm going to leave him, I'm too stupid.
I'm just not getting into the Christmas spirit this year. Most years I'd be putting up decorations the week after Halloween. This year I don't even want to think about it. Right now I don't want to think about anything. I think I need another cigarette and then I need to go get dd6 out of the tub and start getting the kids ready for picture time.
Oh- and that's another thing- hubby asked me if I'd like to go out for a family meal this weekend. We rarely eat out as a family- and when we do it's usually McDonalds or Wendys. He said he wanted to go someplace nice. Er, okay, but this is just weird. So we're going out to dinner after our photo session.

The shock is passing...

2004-11-12T19:05:00.000-05:00

...but sorrow is setting in. I still haven't cried. I can't. Hubby says I won't because I'm stubborn. He's being so nice right now. Makes me want to hug him and kick him all at once. Last night my bad knee was bothering me so he offered to put muscle rub on it for me. It was really nice. My shoulders are broken out from the stress so he rubbed aloe gel all over my back, too.

I still don't know what to do. I told him last night that if there was even a possiblity of something else from the past coming up in the future he better tell me. Today he said he really didn't think anything else had happened (still sticking with the 'drunken blackout' thing). It's really hard to deal with this. I've started smoking again- I quit months ago, but it was either a pack of cigarettes or a bottle of booze. Like I told him, if I'd found out about this six months ago, I would have kicked him out. But now, after the best five months in our marriage, I find that hard to do. I'm either an optimist or a moron. Probably both.

Time to clean up the house. He asked if some of our friends could come over tonight after work. I told him that would be fine. So at about 11:45 tonight my house will be filled with an assortment of males carrying Raw Deal cards and (hopefully) poker chips.

All the entries to date on my previous blog.

2004-11-12T18:35:00.000-05:00

Tuesday, 09 November 2004
Well fuck.
Got a phone call tonight. From one of hubby's friends. He informed me that hubby slept with his girlfriend. Hubby says that it was a time that he was really drunk and it might have happened- he doesn't remember. Hubby is acting horribly torn up about it. Me? I'm numb. Not even surprised, much. Don't know what I'm gonna do- aside from making him get an STD test just in case. I want to talk to her, but haven't yet.
Posted by: ButterflyLane at 23:43

Wednesday, 10 November 2004
Well fuck part 2
talked to her tonight. it happened. she apologized repeatedly. her only excuse (paltry though it is) is that they were both really drunk. Yeah. like that solves it. oh, you were drunk, so it isnt your fault that you fucked my husband and your boyfriends best friend? argh. not like i really am surprised. ive suspected for a long time.
not to mention the fact that he's still saying he doesnt remember what happened. well she does. she admitted it to me.
the one redeeming factor was that about the time it happened was when hubby finally agreed to move. my current theory was that he realized that either we move away or id find out and leave him. if id found out when it happened, id have left him. it was a bad patch in our relationship. but the past 5 months have been among the best in our marriage. so should i call it quits when he obviously tried to make amends?
im so confused. i'll probably just stay with him. that's okay- if it happens again, i dont care how drunk he is- i'll cut his dick off and feed it to him for dinner. with gravy. I make really good gravy.
Posted by: ButterflyLane at 21:58

Thursday, 11 November 2004
hubby is claiming that since he doesnt remember he doesnt think it happened, he doesnt feel like it happened... like i should feel sorry for him. oh, poor baby, you dont remember cheating on me, so i should feel sorry for you. i'm not even sure i believe him about not remembering.
Posted by: ButterflyLane at 06:56

March 24th, 2004 The day my life was royally fucked.
Posted by: ButterflyLane at 21:15

Well fuck.

2004-11-12T18:28:00.000-05:00

I'm starting this blog to detail my feelings upon discovering my husband of seven years cheated on me.
With someone younger and skinnier.
Who also happened to be his best friend's girlfriend.