Butterfly Ramblings

Hmmm...

Well, I guess I've gone back to numb- or maybe on to not caring. I'm feeling sort of disassociated. It's still there, and it still pops into my head at random moments, but I don't feel anything. On the other hand, that includes sex. I'm just so... not interested... which is so not me. I suppose this will pass, too, eventually.
He's still being really sweet- we're going to get family pictures taken today. That sounds really stupid right now, doesn't it. I think my thoughts are that we haven't had one done since our youngest was born- he's 3- and just in case, I'd like to have a picture that has all four of us in it. The kids might like to have it when they're older.
Oh, hell, who am I kidding? It's not likely that I'm going to leave him, I'm too stupid.
I'm just not getting into the Christmas spirit this year. Most years I'd be putting up decorations the week after Halloween. This year I don't even want to think about it. Right now I don't want to think about anything. I think I need another cigarette and then I need to go get dd6 out of the tub and start getting the kids ready for picture time.
Oh- and that's another thing- hubby asked me if I'd like to go out for a family meal this weekend. We rarely eat out as a family- and when we do it's usually McDonalds or Wendys. He said he wanted to go someplace nice. Er, okay, but this is just weird. So we're going out to dinner after our photo session.

posted by ButterflyLane @ 1:51 PM